been nights
since I heard you say
you love me

that let my tears pour
though,
the nights after

not because
I was overwhelmed
but because I missed HIM more...

look, I'm sorry
I'm this rude
it's just that it hurts much

thinking over again
why God won't listen
to my prayers

I...I plead many times
to win HIM back
but I lost.

and it hurts even more
thinking all this time
why God will give me

YOU.
...when He knows perfectly
I won't learn to love you.

because I know
I never will,
ever since the day

I saw your crumpled hair
your wounded wrist
your untied Chucks

your smoky thoughts...
felt your drunken emotions
your drugged demeanors...

found out your woman history
heard your grave songs
read your mad poems

I swear
there's just one thing
I'll like in you

the fact you were there that night
HE broke me
and you stayed

unaware
with your gestures
to put back my remains

you played a hero
you are recognized
with due respect

you played a friend
thank you
with all my heart

but please...
please don't play
a lover

with all those promises
and vows
and hopes

because I'm afraid
I can't take another night
someone will break me

and another night
someone will come
to play hero, friend, lover

I want you to know
I won't be written in your woman history
I'm sorry.